I’ve had a few good days since my last update. Sometimes having good days makes me feel a little guilty at a time when so many people are suffering, when there is so much uncertainty in the world. My outlook has to be on what the day holds, to make my own sort of peace with what I’m given in my own particular situation. Sometimes that means humor. Laugh or cry – the choice is simple.

This is what I look like now. My shaggy hair is too long to be a pixie and too short to be considered a bob. This doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but it’s thick and wrangled by cowlicks (at least three), and bobby pins and hairbands have limitations. One reaches a point where one stops fighting. No, it doesn’t always look “bad,” but I have nonetheless reverted to the habit of my teenage years when I was trying to grow my hair out, was ultra self-conscious, and wore an old knit cap. I don’t know what I’m going to do now that the weather is warmer.

I brainstorm about what I’m going to do once the salon is open: color my hair red again, maybe go for a more choppy look. Until then, it makes sense to forgo a haircut to keep people safe from a highly contagious virus. Because, until testing becomes widely available, there is no way of knowing whether I’m an asymptomatic carrier. I’d rather not risk it. In the meantime, I can live with wonky hair.

This was no problem a week ago. Nebraska was treated to a snow storm. 4.5 inches averaged in Lincoln, 6-8 in other areas. Talk about a bizarre spring – as if the pandemic wasn’t enough to make this an episode of The Twilight Zone. It was gone in 24 hours, tree blossoms and early flowers mostly unscathed. I haven’t worn my coat since, and it can stay hanging on its hook for all I care! The windows are open, the air is fresh (as long as the neighbors aren’t vaping), the birds are singing – there is no way to complain about that.

I’ve never enjoyed the birds so much. A pair of cardinals has been hanging out in the mornings within a perfect angle to my window. They are a joy, and I’m glad of my hand-me-down binoculars. It makes me feel like I’m spending time with the birds instead of just watching them.

I’m amazed at how much more effort goes into food now. I never used to plan for meals for longer than a week. Now I’m trying to think ahead, figure out what will last, what the wisest thing to cook might be. It makes me pay more attention to what I already have on hand and what to buy. Sometimes this can be a headache, but then again, I’m a rookie at long-term meal planning.

I managed to make my groceries last about three weeks. I made a trip to Trader Joe’s a few days ago and have never bought as much food for myself at one time. My goal was to double up on frozen fruits and veg and load my small freezer to capacity. The rate of coronavirus infections in Nebraska was projected to peak around May 3, but I’m also hearing that it might not happen till June or even July. No one knows for certain, so the best course of action is to prepare for a longer haul, regardless whether businesses are allowed to reopen in May.

I’m trying to be mindful of food waste, too. I bought a package of basil and immediately made pesto and froze it. Otherwise, I’d have forgotten about it – and everyone knows basil doesn’t last long. I also opted for baby spinach as a salad mix because it is versatile. I put it in soups, saute it with eggs, blend it into pasta sauces. And, to quote various members of my family “It’s good fah you, deah!” 🥗

This month I’ve had fun innovating. I made chicken teriyaki last week. The recipe I use calls for a 1/2 cup of sugar for the teriyaki sauce, which balances out the salt in the soy sauce. I realized I was out of sugar — I’d used up what little I had on cookies. So I used a 1/4 cup of maple syrup instead. The other option was honey, but I wasn’t sure that would work (and I use a lot of honey for baking). The maple syrup turned out to be exactly what I needed: the sauce was neither too salty nor too sweet and the consistency wasn’t runny or too thick. It is definitely on my list of little victories!

Remember that disaster of a pastry? I tried making shortbread cookies with the flour part, and it just crumbled in the oven. I realized it was still edible, just crumbly, so I’ve been enjoying it with frozen berries as a sort of deconstructed pie. Naturally, I’ve had to replenish my stock of blueberries. Scones and proper shortbread are next on the agenda.

Although it is my generation’s new and highly useful pastime, I have not made any rustic bread. I don’t trust my apartment-sized gas oven, which tends to scorch things if I’m not careful. I could theoretically bake bread in the Dutch oven, but I’d have to preheat it and the lid in the oven. I’m afraid it would melt the handle. All of that said, I am more tempted to try baking a pizza… the thought is making me hungry! 🍕

My staples are generally: olive oil, popcorn, peppermint tea, coffee, half and half (for the coffee), and chocolate in one form or another. If these supplies are low, I get anxious. I’ve been ordering takeout at least once a week to treat myself to things I’m not able to make on my own right now: burgers and fries, or a pizza, or a fancy salad with grilled salmon, or a piece of chocolate cake. All the while supporting a local business.

Is it weird to write so much about food? I do see a silver lining here. The pandemic is making us pay attention to our weekly habits. We are relearning to enjoy the process of making/crafting/cooking food. It’s one thing to buy a package of cookies. It’s another to assemble the components and watch them come together into a finished project, to make variations and enjoy the results. This back-to-basics creativity, good for the soul, and the kind of therapy I need right now. ☺

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