It’s mid-afternoon, and work is at a lull. I don’t typically write at work for obvious reasons. On occasion I’ll dabble with a scene, but a receptionist’s job is to be interrupted at irregular intervals by various things, so this is a rare occurrence. Besides, I’ve been working on the Novel in other hours and am enjoying just sitting here for a change.

Oh, the work’s not over. Far from over. But without moments of quiet (or near as I can get) I will go insane. I could take out a book, but I’m too restless. Part of that is due to a sense of not wanting to do anything and another is the seasonal allergies which make it difficult to breathe without concentration. That is the irony of the season: the weather is absolutely perfect, no rain forecasted for today, warm but not too warm, but my nose is stuffed up like it’s the dead of winter.*

Anyway.

The Novel is still going, that’s the main thing. I did not exactly meet my self-imposed deadline (get draft done by May 31st), but I’ve come pretty darned close. And it is still a glorious mess which will be tackled in various washes and edits. No worries.

By the far the best accomplishment of this long season is learning how to write and not look back at the mess I’ve made. To know it’s  bad but to put the badness aside in favor of getting the thing done. It’s a hard, hard lesson for a chronic perfectionist to learn, especially one who can’t make up her mind about major aspects of the plot. (Wait, who’s dead? Whose baby is that? And what metaphorical state are we in now? Why am I using “we”?)

So I sit here, sipping green tea (they say it’s good for allergies and I can breathe a little better) and letting my mind to wander. Of course, the risk is that it will wander right back to the Novel and start a’messing and second-guessing (rhyme unintended).

Other activities:

1.) Visiting Twitter to peruse daily witticisms, and articles and blogs about novel writing and editing. I’ve especially found Rachel Aaron/Bach’s blog to be friendly help in times of stress.

2.) Trying to figure out what I’ll have for dinner, and a scheme to make another batch of pancakes for this week’s breakfasts.

3.) Eating the last of my raisins, and wishing I had popcorn. 🙁

4.) Avoiding news.*

5.) Daydreaming.

6.) Playing with the features of Scrivener.

*I have an allergy to politics as well as pollen.

All of these things and more are occurring continuously and internally. So if you happen to walk off the elevator and see me staring into space, that’s why. My brain is trying to conserve energy by thinking low-power thoughts. In a minute, armed with coffee (for my soul more than any real need), I’ll probably return to a slow indulgence in Jane Eyre. This nothing-ness is rest. And it is good.

Forgive the rambling nothing-ness of this post. I’m scatter-brained, nearing the end of this phase. I am anxious to start on the Big Edit and revisions that will transform the Mess into Art. Close but not yet.* The end of the beginning, remember. I’ve passed a milestone but there are a hundred ahead of me, each containing those quivering doubts that plagued me all the way through the first round.

Bring. It. On.

*Stats: 181,000 out of 200,000 “written.” (Margin of error) I’m technically on the climax, rewriting it completely from scratch but… I still like the old one better… hm, kinks in the machine. Tinker, tinker.