Over a year ago, I left my blog behind and didn’t especially miss it. I’m easily overwhelmed and easily frustrated. It is not the most ideal combination for a writer, particularly these chaotic days in the internet jungle. Daedalus Notes, a blog I’d shared with a dear friend since 2008, felt tired and the me who had originally posted whimsies and musings there was a becoming more and more distant from the person I was becoming. This is only natural.
Also natural was the feeling of hopelessness, a passive defeat. What is the point of having a blog if no one reads it? I felt like I was talking to myself in a padded room, to an audience of imaginary friends. Imaginary friends, I tell you, don’t leave many comments.
It wasn’t simply blogging that had me feeling drained and uninspired. I’d hopped on the Twitter train, hoping that the connections I’d made from visiting certain writing sites all the time would catch fire and bring my blog into a brighter light. But I couldn’t keep up, couldn’t conjure up anything witty, couldn’t get anyone’s attention, which is sort of the point of Twitter. I had 33 followers. That’s it. It is the equivalent of having a soft voice (which I do) and trying to get the attention of a hundred other people who are deep into their own scintillating conversations.
Networking and self-marketing are things I’ve wanted to avoid like plague. They do not help an introverted writer who has struggled with anxiety and self-doubt. It is a very, very hard thing for me. On the other hand, I realize that in this hyper-electric world, it is becoming more and more difficult for writers not to be active in the Twitter-sphere, online forums, and blogs. Writers have to be competitive and they have to be well-connected. At the very least they have to make an honest effort of it. It sounds daunting. But…
In my year off from blogging, I came to several comforting realizations about my place in the vast social media sea.
First of all, I do have a place in the social media sea, and I do have ideas to share. And you, know what? I do miss blogging – coming up with witty musings, and discovering the best bits of life. I miss stretching my wings. I want to try new things.
Secondly, I can’t change my personality or what energizes or drains me. And I don’t have to change! I thrive in solitude and in one-on-one interactions. Twitter makes me anxious, but the world will keep turning, and the sun will rise tomorrow.
That said, thirdly, I don’t have to do everything. I’ve survived almost two years away from Twitter, and I have been far less stressed in my daily writing life. Twitter is a great tool, and I’m glad it starts conversations for tons of people, but it’s good to know I have my limits.
Fourth, the blog is my social media inlet. Why not figure out how to make it work? And you know what, I want to blog. I am excited about blogging again. New ideas are pouring through me, and I’m thinking, “Yes, I can do this. So, why not?”
So, here I am starting out with a clean slate and an eager heart. I’m ready, are you?